sunday sunday sunday.

today could have been a whole lot worse.

i got to sleep in some, went to breakfast with a good friend at the shiny diner then angela came over and we worked on the brown fat for a while - i'm trying to be smart about it - and enjoy how the sun feels and (no pun intended ) warms my spirit... but not fry like a chicken in a row boat. i need to not do that to my skin. ang and i did a little thrift-store shopping after, then crashed at my house, watched a little harry potter and just talked.

she's now upstairs getting ready for her date with 2 cute boys while i type this ... and i'm wondering what's for supper and reflecting on this past week.

shit week.

so let me tell you about what happened at work yesterday ( yesterday being the last day of work before my birthday - the day we always celebrate ( if not working on the actual day )

can you see where this is headed.

nothing happened.

no cards
no balloons
no cupcakes


no thing.


great.

cause this is the week i can handle this, i have LOADS of extra energy this. week. except i don't.

now, thank god for my friends that work at sally's they gave me a sweet card, giant slice of cheesecake, and nail polishes....and home friends - they were great of course - christine and i went to dinner, did some shopping - got some goodies for the patio/grill area....and we did a walk thru the 'ghetto' wal-mart - doesn't sound super exciting, but to just have time together, was enough for me.

lauren and i have both talked ( at great length ) about our men-folk situation i have a feeling that while there were the VERY best of intentions - i was both a vacation from reality - and played for a fool ( and was a fool ). i don't think these were done with any kind of malice- just were. i've been told i'm wrong for these feelings - well not for the feeling - but that i'm wrong about them ..... but kinda feeling that way anyway. and while it's not the best feeling i've ever had - it's not the worst either.

it just is.

***
angela just left here to go hang with her friends - and good god she's pretty - like stacey pretty - like so pretty it makes me angry. but it did make me take a look at myself and say - make an effort - so gonna NOT wallow in pity tonight - but seriously do some maintenance on me. mani/pedi/hair treatments/facial ....tomorrow do some quick straightening of the house - then back to the pool for a few hours.

i joke about being all about me, all the time ( even tex calls me 'mimi' ) but really, i do - if not "for" others, what i think others want from me too much. and this year, this 39th one that's coming up - that changes. starting tonight. then playing every day ....until there are no more days.

not selfish ( i think selfish indicates that there's not enough to go around and someone has to have lack for me to have what i need ) but i'm doing for me.

cause really Ru said it best.

"if you can't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love someone else?"