ok.

so yesterday wasn't quite the rock star birthday i wanted .... at least while i was in it.

now i sit and look around the room.

i have cookies from stacey
i have flowers from tex
i had flowers from todd
i have cards of love from friends
i have new patio furniture
i had FANTASTIC pancakes with mom
i had a nice dinner with christine and her family
i got a hydranga plant from cherie.
i got TONS of phone calls and text messages


while i feel very sad about the breakup of me and todd - and the life i thought i was going to have...right now, in this moment i can recognize what i do have. ( which is very tenuous and subject to change at anytime ) right now i realize i'm rich in friends - and if todd doesn't love me in the way i need to be loved, guess what? i have tons of friends who do.

and i have an appointment with the doctor for new drugs next week

could be worse. but in this moment.

it's fine.