thurs. fri. sat

i actually have blogs written out for these days .... on paper ...and will type them out tonight.

and oh yes, tex informed me that i "ganked up my comments"

i guess there's a flaw in the template - maybe i'll change it - but i like the way this one looks - so we'll see.

off to work.

ok.

so yesterday wasn't quite the rock star birthday i wanted .... at least while i was in it.

now i sit and look around the room.

i have cookies from stacey
i have flowers from tex
i had flowers from todd
i have cards of love from friends
i have new patio furniture
i had FANTASTIC pancakes with mom
i had a nice dinner with christine and her family
i got a hydranga plant from cherie.
i got TONS of phone calls and text messages


while i feel very sad about the breakup of me and todd - and the life i thought i was going to have...right now, in this moment i can recognize what i do have. ( which is very tenuous and subject to change at anytime ) right now i realize i'm rich in friends - and if todd doesn't love me in the way i need to be loved, guess what? i have tons of friends who do.

and i have an appointment with the doctor for new drugs next week

could be worse. but in this moment.

it's fine.

so it was today.

i'm 39.

so far, 39 is awful.

i've let todd break my heart & ruin my day.

and i hate that.

and i really need NO, unity, suck it up, you're in charge comments.

so if you're thinking about that.

don't.

t-minus 1

ah so today could have been bad - for about 3 minutes, it really was. dark. bad. and scary.

but then i got over it.

did a teeny bit of house work.
went to the pool for a short while ( want to feel the sun - not feel it's wrath )
went to supper with cherie and family - complete with game play alongs ...


checked the mail when i got home & had a card from christel and a great present from tex. made my day. funny - and project worthy .... all of this works towards making tomorrow better.

i actually spoke some to todd on the phone. wasn't terribly awkward, wasn't not awkward - but was ok.

tomorrow mom and i are headed to the original pancake house for pancakes - the world's most perfect food. and then off to a movie - hopefully some foreign language one where we'll have to read it - or or or - in a perfect world - a jane austen movie marathon.....a girl can dream


and and and when i came home tonight . clerks was on tv....could be a worse day