still a rockstar.

interesting week, i had a major money fuck up - that i fixed without borrowing money - YAYME! that's not to say that old fears about money ( and the lack of ) didn't resurface, cause they did - but not to the point of destruction or inability to function .... thank you therapy, wellbrutin, and cymbalta ( where does depression hurt?)

yesterday, i was in the place where all i wanted was a hug - and i was alone for the most part .... that really sucked, i realized how busy the lives of all my friends and i were .... and how so many of the ones i love dearly - are so physically far away from me, but woke up feeling renewed - and able to remember how lucky i am.

i was able to remember last night that i have my health, time and friends.... what more could i need. i have TOO MANY FRIENDS that have major illnesses going on, or have loved ones that are going thru health, how do you say in your language.. challenges, i just found out this morning about a person i know whose family lost their house and everything in it during this week's floods here in atlanta, another friend had to have their sick and elderly dog put to sleep, some are dealing with divorce and heartache.

me, i forgot to write in a check.

that's it. pulled money over from savings, crisis averted. i have a job that i truly love and i'm passionate about, better friends than money can buy, and relative great health. sometimes i'm in no way able to acknowledge the good in my life and all i can see is the crap, luckily today is not that day. i can see the good - and i'm grateful.


ok enough of that shitting rainbows and unicorns crap.

yes, changed the template again - which means i need to add the links back in and all that jazz - and i'm hoping the comments work again - not that i even think anyone reads this anymore or cares to comment - but changing things up seems to be in the air ( sidebar: i came THIS close to making the template Twilight or New Moon or Edward Cullen ... so consider yourselves lucky - i give not one shit that i'm almost 40 american years old and i find that tiny skinny near felony robert pattinson dreamy, so shut it ) ok where was i, ah yes, ch ch ch ch changes - i got new carpet in the whole house - and new drapes in the den ( no the carpet doesn't match the drapes .... well actually, it sorta does ), new patio furniture this summer for the .....wait for it - yeah, the patio, and a super new SUPER short new haircut.

i haven't done hair this short ( on purpose ) in a long time, and i feel sassy, sexy, pretty, and like me again....and that my friend doesn't suck.

i still haven't changed the man situation, i still love that man, and he still doesn't/can't/won't love me back - we speak sometimes, and usually i feel worse after we talk, but because part of me is still a stupid masochist i sill long for the sound of his voice when i don't hear it. i heard "our song" at work ( lovely day ) on the radio at work the other day and started tearing up. but then yesterday i heard it again and was able to sing along and remember that i loved that song long before i loved todd.

so for today - things are good. i have hot coffee, jason mraz in my ears, stacey's phone called me from her butt this morning, and i slept all the way thru the night.

so in the words of dr dre - today was (is) a good day.